The Queen's (!) ask questions and puzzle out the mystery. Dead guy is a sleazy lawyer. He was drinking booze at the play and had a kid go get him Ginger Ale as a mixer. His hat is missing--hence the title. All the seats around him, weirdly, were empty even though the play is a smash hit. Body discovered by timid man. Doorman (old) can't remember if anyone entered the theatre during the second act. Still fun, though reviews make me wonder how much longer the fun will last.
PUPPY Dysfunctional family has puppy that they need to get rid of. Mom places ad; family is coming over. Description of family. Mom: husband changed from long-haired attractive to stooped old man. Husband: talks constantly of living on a farm and doing what needs to be done, though he never lived on a farm. Conversations together: Sell and move to Arizona, get hooked on phonics for kids, buying a car wash. . . wonderful randomness. Straight-laced suburbanite comes to look at puppy. Seems like she will buy it, even though she is repelled by house. (Dog turds on carpet, filthy.) She is proud of how accepting she is until she looks out window and sees white trash's son tied by harness to a tree. Reader knows he is a menace to himself, darting across I-90, for example. Suburban mother beats hasty retreat, leaving dog to be (probably) drowned by dad who does what has to be done. Suburbanite remembers her own pathetic ch...
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